I Choose to be Happy

Four years ago I hit rock bottom.  Looking back, I had probably not been in a good place for many years but something, so small that I don't even remember what it was, pushed me over the edge.  I remember practically running home from work because I knew that the floodgates were about to open and I didn't want to be in a public place when it happened.  I got to the front door and just broke down.

I knew that, for everyone's sake, I needed to get help.  I went to my doctor the next day and just broke my heart.  I was diagnosed with anxiety, stress and depression and was prescribed medication and referred for counselling.  Initially it felt as though a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders but my doctor had warned me that things would probably get worse before they got better and boy did they!

I struggled on at work from my melt down in July until the end of October and I finally had to admit that I couldn't do it anymore.  My doctor signed me off and I ended being off work for 3 months.  In that time I spent time on myself, through the counselling, especially the cognitive behavioural therapy,  I learned techniques to keep myself calm and cope in stressful situations and I managed to get myself well again. 

I vowed that I would never let myself go back there and for a long time I believed I never would.  Recently though, I have felt myself slipping.  There are some very real and very sad things going on in my family just now and I feel like I am losing control of my life again.  What makes it worse is that I know where all this can lead and it is terrifying.

Well, you know what?  I am not going to let it happen!  I need to reclaim the control, concentrate on making me well again and kick mental health's butt.

My plan is to try to be super organised to minimise the stress, let my creativity flow as a form of therapy and put some serious effort in to my blog and my YouTube channel. So watch this space for updates on how I CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY!

Thanks for stopping by xxx